(Political satire)

 

(Picture downloaded from Internet)

(Photo is that of Kanhaiya Kuumar shouting slogan “Azaadi” (only he and his supporters know from what?). He “inspires” all those who want “Azzadi” He joined JNU in 2011 as a PhD  student and  completed his PhD in February 2019, titled “‘The Process of De-colonisation and Social Transformation in South Africa, 1994-2015″, a research work of  doubtful quality.)

 

A new revolutionary is born in India, the land of revolutionaries, who wants “Azaadi” (freedom).

I was driving my scooter at normal speed but a policeman gave signal to stop by the side of the road. I was surprised. I had not violated any traffic law. I had not jumped red light. I parked the scooter and asked the policeman, “What is my fault?” But he was busy giving similar signal to all vehicles on the road. I asked a fellow victim who was standing by the side of his scooter. “VVIP movement.” He explained.

I saw a couple of cars driving without being stopped. A very senior leader, next only to the supremo of the senior most political party of the country, was sitting in one of the cars. I could recognise him because he was waving at us. He must be thinking that we were waiting for his darshan, a glimpse of his handsom face. As usual in the public, he was smiling. I always admire his smile because it is very innocent, very childlike. Whenever he smiles, you can see two sweet dimples on his lovely chicks. Unfortunately, nobody responded but that did not seem to discourage him. After a couple of minutes another fleet of vehicles passed by. This time it was leader of the Common Man’s Part (also known as “Mango Man Party”, MMP), sitting next to the driver and waving at the crowd. He too was smiling but people ignored him too.

My experience is that whenever a leader sees a gathering – big or small, friendly or hostile, making celebrations or in mourning – his right hand automatically starts waving. Perhaps, one day geneticists may discover the gene that gives brain signal to waive at the sight of a gathering.

I asked the same fellow-victim the reason of arch rivals rushing in the same direction. He looked at me with surprise and said, “It seems you did not see the morning news on TV. In a school, a few hundred metres ahead on this very road, a new messiah is chanting some mantra since morning. It seems all the VVIPs are rushing to seek his blessings. If you are also going for that, try your luck.”

I cursed myself. These days one should be very alert. You never know when an intellectual or a celebrity will inform you that it is time to move out of the country due to intolerance or when a new saviour of democracy and secularism announces his arrival.

Out of curiosity I decided to have a look at the new Messiah. Somehow I reached near the holy site to get a glimpse of the messiah.  I saw a boy, about eleven or twelve year old, standing in the school compound and shouting at the top of his voice: ‘

“Azaadi”   “Azaadi”

(“Freedom” “Freedom”.)

About a dozen children who had surrounded him also cried, “Azaadi”   “Azaadi”.

The leader shouted next slogan: “We want Azaadi”  “We want Azaadi from suppression”.

The other children repeated the slogan.

The leader gave the next call: “We want Azaadi from domination”.

His supporters too shouted.

“We want Azaadi from fear”.

“We want Azaadi from fear” I heard the echo.

 “Azaadi”  “Azaadi”.  

They were shouting.

VVIPs, I mean leaders who were always in search of opportunities for being seen in public serving people’s interest, were also repeating those slogans.

Scores of media persons were taking photographs and recording the historical event. TV channels were making live telecast with a running commentary that a new revolutionary had appeared on the horizon to save this country from oppression and suppression, that he is demanding “Azaadi” from fear and “Azaadi” from poverty, that he is demanding “Azaadi” from all the evils.

I had not heard words like ‘poverty” but when the media persons were announcing, that must be true interpretation of what the boy was shouting.

Some politicians and media persons were discreetly making inquiries about the boy’s religion.

“Oh, he is not a minority. Never mind, find out his caste.” I heard someone whispering.

After some time, the new revolutionary got tired and sat down on a bench. His friends followed him.  VVIPs rushed with glasses of juice and milk. They were all eager to catch his attention and get photographed with him.

The second-in-command of the senior most party being the foremost in the hierarchy of VVIPs there, pushed all others, put his around the boy and tried to run away with him. A Marxist and the leader of the MMP rushed to snatch the boy but the senior leader’s security guards did not allow that. The boy was struggling to get out of his clutches. .

“‘You can’t touch him. He is a Marxist. I need his support to rout the dictator in West Bengal assembly election.” The Marxist leader yelled.

“No. He is a new messiah. He is a Gandhian. He wants freedom from oppressive regime of the current PM. You will see, he will force PM to quit India. I am taking him to Mom to discuss the next course of action.” The senior leader staked his claim.

Not to be left behind, the Mang Party leader shouted: “He represents common man. I need his support to defeat the communal forces in Punjab election.”

The senior leader shouted, “I have first claim on this saviour of the country because I  am the senior most leader here..”

The Marxist corrected the senior leader. “I have first claim because I had reached here before all of you. Moreover, he is from my school. I too had studied here.”

The MMP leader looked angry. “I could not reach earlier because Delhi police stopped my car to give way for senior leader’s car. This is all because Delhi police is not under my control. I may have to go on hunger strike against highhandedness of Delhi police.”

The Marxist looked at the senior leader. “Let us first save this revolutionary from this Mango fellow. We can settle our differences later. We may fight in Kerala but we are comrades-in-arms in elsewhere.” He said

The senior leader smiled. Immediately they formed an ad hoc united front against their common adversary.

‘Keep away. We have first claim on him.’ Both of them told the Mango Party leader.

    “We will use him to bring PM’s barbadi.” They said to each other. (barbadi – detrsuction)

The Mango Party leader withdrew. Strategic withdrawal. He knew such ad hoc fronts would not last. He tweeted: “If PM arrests this revolutionary it will be the beginning of his downfall.”

In the heart of heart he must be praying that the boy gets arrested. A close follower whispered in his ears: “Sir, please don’t take this boy’s help. He seems to be a bigger orator than you. You will have no chance if he joins our party.”

The Mango Party leader realised his mistake but whispered in the ears of his follower: “You’re right but we can’t give the impression that we are ignoring him. If he comes along, I will drop him somewhere so that he is nowhere. Worse comes to worst, I will push him in the company of my enemies within my party and he will never know where to go, what to do.”

The follower looked at his leader with admiration.

Meanwhile, the “revolutionary” had managed to free himself and rush to his parents. His beaming parents and siblings formed a protective ring. The media persons rushed to them. “I want his exclusive interview.” Everyone wanted to register his or her claim.

The mother was feeding sweets to the revolutionary son. All family members were posing for photographs. The father assured the media, “Have patience. Everyone will get chance. Please, write down your name and mobile number in the register I have kept with the revolutionary’s elder brother.”

The media persons rushed to make entry in the register.

I saw some teachers standing at a distance. Since I had no chance of getting photographed with the revolutionary, I went to them to get some more information about the new revolutionary.

A teacher explained: “He is a bully. Does not study nor does allow any classmate to study. But for the government policy, we would have thrown him out of school long back. This morning, when I asked him whether he had done his homework, he rushed out of the classroom and started shouting ‘Azaadi! Azaadi!’ We don’t know who informed the media. What to do?”

“But his parents are very happy.” I expressed my surprise.

“Yes. Till yesterday, they used to tell us to persuade the boy to take interest in studies. Today they are very happy.” The teacher said.

“Why so?”

“Because they have realised his potential. Now there is a revolutionary leader in the family. One day he will be  MLA or MP. May be, even a Minister. There is no need to pursue studies. His future is bright. As bright as future of children of many leaders.” He explained.

Very true. To have a #leader in the family makes all family members ‘healthy, wealthy and wise’. For students of school or college the road to leadership is very easy in India. No not to arrange some people to beat you,  make video of beating and then appear before media in fake bandage over  head and hand (one day over left hand and one day over right hand, depending on the convenience,)

More political leaders had arrived on the scene when I was leaving.

Devendra Narain

@narain41

 

 

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Written by Devendra Narain
Date of birth: January 1, 1941 Educational qualification: Master of Arts (First Class) in Political Science Visiting Fellow: (one year, 1978-79), University of Oxford, UK. Job Experience: Teaching job: Lecturer in Political Science, Patna University (February 1963 to October 1965) Indian Revenue Service: November 1965 to December 2000. Important positions held in Government of India: Head of the Project Appraisal Division (Planning Commission), Head of the Project Monitoring Division and Joint Secretary/Additional Secretary (Department of Programme Implementation), Chief Commissioner of Income Tax and Member, Appellate Tribunal for Forfeited Property. Retired from Government of India on December 31, 2002, as Member, Appellate Tribunal for Forfeited Property. Experience as trainer: more than 50 national and international training programmes on project management International Experience: Indian member of Inter-governmental committee on project management system by the Commonwealth Secretariat in 1985; Member of Indian delegation to the (erstwhile) Soviet Union (1986) Area of expertise: Project Management (ex-ante Project Appraisal, CBA, Monitoring, ex-post evaluation). Experience as author: Co-author of a book on Indian Constitution in 1970 (now out of print); More than two dozen articles on different aspects of project management; 11 stories (10 satirical and one serious) in English and Hindi, published in leading magazines and a leading Hindi newspaper. Presently writing articles on social, political, economic and administrative issues available on my website and LinkedIn. Website: https://www.devendranarain.com Present on social media (Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, Twitter, etc.) Published collection of short stories in Hindi: "ये टेढ़े मेढ़े रास्ते". Paperback available on Amazon and Flipkart; ebook available on Amazon.